


The Trials & Tribulations of Ryuji's Sexuality

by Anubis (fatiguedmona)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: A significant amount of swearing, Akira thinks they're dating, Bisexual akira, Chaos Ensues, Everyone else does too, Fluff and Humor, M/M, No Homo, Non-Explicit Sex, Not Royal Compliant, Oblivious Ryuji, Persona 5 Spoilers, Persona 5 Vanilla, Ryuji Says Fuck, Ryuji is in denial, Ryuji thinks he's straight, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:55:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24805051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatiguedmona/pseuds/Anubis
Summary: Ryuji is happier than he's been in years. He found his purpose through the Phantom Thieves and has a fantastic group of friends.And, according to everyone else, a boyfriend.But him and Akira were just friends, right?So why did everyone keep saying otherwise?
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 10
Kudos: 127





	The Trials & Tribulations of Ryuji's Sexuality

**Author's Note:**

> ****SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5 VANILLA****  
> I started writing this before Royal even came out, so it's set in the canon of the original. Spoilers for the casino palace and everything after. 
> 
> (The unofficial title of this is "No Homo")
> 
> I'm really happy to finally get this out, and I hope you all enjoy!

The Phantom Thieves were strewn about LeBlanc’s attic, watching silently as Akira sorted through their stash of weapons. Their new “inclusion” of Akechi into their group left everyone feeling a bit awkward. They all knew he was up to something, and all conversations since were strained at best. The air was tense with the only noises being the hum of Futaba’s computer and the clanking of weapons. Everyone turned when they heard Akira curse under his breath. 

“Is there a problem, Akira?” Makoto prompted. 

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting you all to come so early, and I was meaning to grab some new weapons. I think I’m gonna need to grab some upgrades right now,” Akira said. 

“Ah, I remember!” Yusuke perked up. “Joker, my katana perished last time we infiltrated. My apologies for not telling you sooner.” 

Akira sighed and shook his head. “Yeah, I’ll definitely be stopping by there, then.” 

“We can just stop by on our way to the Palace, right?” Makoto said. 

“No, we’re too big of a group for that. I’ll go and pick everything up; don’t worry, I’ll be quick.” Akira started gathering his stuff up. 

Ryuji jumped up and said, “Well lemme come with you then! I can help carry stuff for you!” 

Akira smiled and pulled him into a quick hug. “Thanks Ryuji, but I’ll be going solo for this one, it’ll be quick.” 

Ryuji visibly deflated as Akira walked around and down the stairs. He sat back down on the couch, frowning. Another awkward silence settled among the group as no one spoke. Haru, who sat next to Ryuji on the couch, turned to him and rested a friendly hand on his shoulder. 

“I think it was very sweet of you to offer to help Akira-kun! You seemed so eager, too!” Her bright voice allowed the others to relax (but just a little bit, Akechi was still awkwardly sulking near the window). 

Ryuji nodded. “Yeah well, it’s the least I can do for him. I mean, he’s been so stressed out lately-” He unfortunately made eye contact with Akechi when he said that “-and stuff so I’ve been trying to help him out.” 

“Oh goodness, that’s so sweet!” Haru put a hand over her heart. “You’re _such_ a considerate boyfriend, Ryuji-kun! I wish to one day have someone love me as much as you love Akira-kun!” 

Ryuji was left absolutely speechless as his mind reeled to try and make sense of what she said. Him and Akira...dating? No...that’s impossible….and he _loves_ Akira? Nah….

“Oh, I know!” Ann perked up, her voice going up a few octaves. “They’re _so_ cute together! And Ryuji always follows him around like a little puppy.” 

“I-wha-what???” Ryuji stared at his smiling friend, at a complete loss for words. “You guys think I’m datin’ Akira?” Much to his dismay, he was met with several nods.

“Hold on a sec!” Morgana called out with a frown. “Are you saying that you two _aren’t_ dating?” 

“Hell no!” Ryuji protested. "Why the hell do you think that?" Morgana stared at his paws, clearly flustered. “Well, I remember this one time…”

~~~~~

_"W_ _oah! You're looking cool, Joker!" Morgana beamed up at Akira who was checking his appearance in the mirror._

_He laughed. "Thanks Morgana."_

_"Are you going somewhere fun? Can I come?"_

_Akira pushed his hair out of his forehead, and shook his head. "I don't think you'd like going on a date with me, would you?"_

_Morgana scrunched up his face. "Ugh, no. I don't want to see you two getting all lovey dovey. You two are already all over each other. Gross."_

_Akira chuckled and turned back toward the mirror, a goofy smile on his face. "What can I say? I have the best boyfriend in the world, am I not supposed to love him? Ryuji is the treasure of my heart…"_

~~~~~

“ _What?_ Akira said that?!” Ryuji’s near shout rattled everyone, especially poor Haru who had the worst of it since she was sitting right next to him. 

“Yeah, I’m positive that’s what he said. He called you his boyfriend! I would never lie about such a thing!” Morgana persisted. 

“That’s _impossible!_ ” 

“Why is that ‘impossible’?” Futaba questioned from behind her computer. “You two are always giving each other the bedroom eyes anyway.” 

Ryuji’s face turned an odd shade of red. “It’s impossible,” he said through grit teeth, “‘cause I’m _not_ gay!” 

“There is nothing wrong with being a homosexual, Ryuji. To think otherwise is both an archaic and modern ideal,” Yusuke said. 

“Wha- I know that, man! But I’m not gay, so there’s no way the two of us are datin’!” 

Ann spoke up. "This is so weird. Akira always talks about you like you're dating. Like, he’s always sending me cute pictures of the two of you on your dates. I haven’t seen two lovebirds like you guys in a long time." 

Ryuji’s face burned bright red in anger and embarrassment. “ _Dates?!_ I dunno what y’all have heard or what you _thought_ you heard, but I don’t care! We’re _just friends.”_

Despite exchanging skeptical and downright confused looks amongst themselves, the whole group quieted down and wordlessly agreed to drop it. All except one. 

“Ryuji,” Yusuke spoke up, “the look you give Akira whenever you gaze upon him, or even so much as mention him in passing, is a look nurtured by love. It’s as if you’re looking at the most beautiful star in the sky and you’re a mariner lost at sea, except that star is Akira, of course. In fact, would you be willing to model for me? I’d like to capture that look on canv-” 

“Inari’s right, even if he’s weird about saying it,” Futaba interrupted from behind her computer, “you two always look like you’re about to kiss or something.” 

“Th-that ain’t true!” Ryuji’s face was about as red as his scarf in the Metaverse. 

“You know that there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to Akira, right? Your sexuality is nothing to be ashamed about,” Makoto said in her Mom™ voice. 

“Well my sexuality is straight so I dunno what you’re talking about! I’m _not_ attracted to Akira! He’s a _guy._ I like _girls_.” Ryuji’s insistent attitude did nothing to help convince his friends. 

“Perhaps Akira is the only man you find yourself attracted to. There are exceptions to every rule, you know,” Yusuke commented. 

Haru nodded. “Certainly! It may be confusing for you to suddenly find a boy attractive, but you should always follow your heart!” Haru’s cheery voice and bright smile were a lovely contrast to Ryuji’s deep scowl and dark blush. 

“I don’t find him attractive, dammit…” He grumbled. _Why_ didn’t they believe him? He should know his own feelings better than anyone, right? 

“So you’ve... _never_ found him attractive…?” Futaba’s voice was slightly drowned out by the sound of her typing.

“No, that can’t be right!” Ann said. “A few months ago, Ryuji texted me out of nowhere and he was freaking out about seeing Akira at the gym or something. What was _that_ about, Ryuji?” 

“Uh, well…” he began. 

~~~~~

_The locker room was filled to the brim with sweaty guys, with everyone just a bit too close for comfort. Normally, such a scenario would never bother Ryuji, being both a gym rat and a former athlete left him desensitized to the awkwardness of the locker room. Unfortunately, today was no ordinary day at the gym for him. Because Akira was there. And Akira_ always _made things complicated. Ryuji couldn’t explain why, but he felt this nervousness pool at the bottom of his stomach, the kind of anxiety you get before doing something possibly scary. But that made no sense, he was just in the damn locker room, being with a friend didn’t change that._

_“You waiting for me to go first?” A playful voice brought Ryuji out of his thoughts and made him realize how awkward it was that he was just...staring at the locker in front of him instead of changing. A blush crept up on his face._

_Akira chuckled. “I’m just teasing you, Ryuji.” He leaned in close and added, “It’s a bit uncomfortable in here, yeah? There’s so many guys here, it’s making me a bit nervous.” Akira certainly didn’t seem bothered, so maybe he was just saying that to make Ryuji feel better. It wouldn’t be a surprise, he always was considerate like that. Even if Ryuji didn’t know whether he meant it or not, he couldn’t help but agree. Although, why_ was _he so nervous? Shouldn’t he be used to this by now?_

 _Akira turned back towards his open locker and took off his glasses before quickly discarding his shirt. Ryuji felt like he had no control over his eyes when they immediately drifted to Akira’s bare chest. And_ holy shit, _the guy was_ ripped _and he had a goddamn_ six pack _holy fuck and-_

 _It took every fiber of his being for Ryuji to turn away and stop staring like the crazed man that he was. But_ damn, _he knew Akira was in shape, there was no way he could do all those crazy stunts in the Metaverse without working out a little bit, but he had no idea that he was fucking ripped. Ryuji pulled off his own shirt, trying desperately to appear casual while his heart was racing a million miles per hour (for unknown reasons, of course). For some unholy reason, he couldn’t help it when his eyes drifted over to Akira once more, just a glace - nothing more, and-_

 _And Ryuji’s heart stopped. And he hated that the reason that his heart stopped dead in its tracks because Akira was now_ naked _and holy shit his_ **_legs_ ** _were fucking perfectly scuplted and his V was so goddamn good, and his-_

 _‘_ Oh fuck,’ _he thought. Who knew that Akira was so fucking hung? What the fuck?_

_“Ryuji?” The call of his name forced his eyes to snap from Akira’s dick to his face. Akira looked at him with a knowing smirk._

_“Y-Yeah?” Ryuji was painfully aware of how his voice cracked. He was also painfully aware of the tent in his pants._

_“You ready to go?” Akira asked while pulling on his tracksuit. He had clearly noticed Ryuji staring, the smirk on his face was enough evidence, but much to his relief, decided against commenting on it. Ryuji started to panic. He hadn’t changed out of his pants yet but he couldn’t now, he had a boner for fuck’s sake and Akira wasn’t stupid enough to not notice that it was because of_ him _and how would Ryuji even begin to explain that? What would he say, “Sorry I’m hard, your dick is just too sexy, bro.” And_ god _Akira was way too close. Even fully clothed, his mere presence was too much at the moment. The locker room was so cramped his shoulder was just inches from Ryuji’s._

_“You know what, man? I gotta use the restroom, so why don’t ya go on ahead ‘n I’ll meet ya there in a sec?” Ryuji was surprised at how even his voice came out. Akira’s carefully neutral face broke for a second, the moment so brief that Ryuji couldn’t catch whether it was confusion or concern._

_Akira nodded. “Yeah, sure. See you in a sec.” He closed his locker and strode towards the door. Ryuji nearly collapsed in relief once he left._

_‘Thank fucking god,’ he thought. ‘But damn...the fuck is wrong with me?’ He shoved on his shirt and sprinted towards the restroom, which was thankfully empty at the moment. Quickly, he locked himself in a stall and leaned against the door. ‘Calm down, man. Ya gotta calm the fuck down.’_

_For a few minutes he tried to just take deep breaths, but it did nothing to stop the awful tightness in his pants. ‘Akira’s gonna get worried if I take any longer...ugh, fuck it!’ Ryuji listened to make sure no one had entered the restroom before shoving down his pants and taking out his-_

~~~~~

“I’m going to stop you right there, Ryuji,” Makoto said in a stern voice. 

“You saw Akira-kun naked…? God, I wish that was me,” Haru muttered to herself, looking sorrowful.

“So _that’s_ why you texted me? Seriously?” Ann seemed appalled. Ryuji’s leg bounced on the floor anxiously from his seat on the couch. 

“I needed to! I was confused and stranded at the gym with Akira. What was I supposed to do?” he retorted. 

Haru cocked her head and turned to Ann. “What did Ryuji text you?” 

Ann rolled her eyes. “Oh my god…”

~~~~~

**_Ryuji:_ ** _ANN_

 **_Ann:_ ** _Omg what’s wrong???_

 **_Ryuji:_ ** _idk what happened but i’m at the gym with akira and idk man i feel weird_

 **_Ann:_ ** _Are you sick?_

 **_Ryuji:_ ** _no it ain’t like that_

 **_Ryuji:_ ** _i do feel all hot tho oh god_

 **_Ann:_ ** _Wdym you feel hot??? Like a fever?_

 **_Ryuji:_ ** _i saw his dick okay?!_

 **_Ryuji:_ ** _its so big you have no idea_

 **_Ann:_ ** _I...I don’t even know what to say..._

 **_Ann:_ ** _Maybe you should go tell him?_

 **_Ryuji:_ ** _HELL NO WHY WOULD I DO THAT HE’S TOO HOT HELP_

 **_Ann:_ ** _Okay, calm down! Just go home then, you’re acting all weird…_

~~~~~

Silence fell over the group and the only sound was Futaba’s typing at her keyboard, which also stopped as she looked over her laptop and at Ryuji.

“So uhh...that’s certainly not what I expected to learn about Akira today. But you know that telling us that story was counterproductive, right?” she said. 

“No! There was something just...weird with me that day! I could’ve seen anybody naked! It doesn’t matter that it was Akira! It could’ve been...I dunno, Akechi and it still would’ve happened!” It was a true testament to Akechi’s acting skills that this was the first time that his persona cracked as he made a face of clear disgust. He laughed awkwardly. 

“Ahaha...Sakamoto-kun...that’s-”

“One hell of an insult! Daaaamn, Ryuji!” Futaba nearly fell off the bed laughing. 

“Futaba-chan, be nice,” Haru chided. 

“I’m not even the one who said it!” 

“Ryuji-kun, please don’t be mean to Akechi-san.” 

“What I _meant,_ ” Ryuji said through gritted teeth, “was that I don’t like Akira. Because. I’m. _Straight!_ ” 

“If you wanted to prove to us that you’re not gay, why’d you use Akechi-kun as an example? Why didn’t you choose a girl?” Ann asked. Ryuji chose to ignore her, simply for the fact that she was right. 

“Ryuji, it’s quite alright to admit your attraction to Akira. He is quite the beautiful specimen,” Yusuke said. 

“Or,” Makoto said with her Mom™ voice, “we could stop talking about this. Also, please don’t refer to Akira-kun as a ‘specimen’, he’s a human being, not an insect.”

“I say what I see, Makoto. Surely, you must respect it.” Yusuke looked oddly offended. 

“I agree with Niijima-san.” Nobody asked for Akechi’s opinion, yet he gave it anyway. “It is easy to lose focus during an important mission, but we must stay on task-”

“Yo Ryuji,” Futaba interrupted because she is an agent of chaos, “have you and Akira done did the dirty yet or what?”

“Futaba, _please_ don’t do this,” Makoto begged. 

“In her defense, there are so many worse ways to phrase that question,” Ann said. 

No one noticed Ryuji scowling in the corner until he spoke. “Uhh…”

~~~~~

_Darkness enveloped LeBlanc’s attic as the tall skyscrapers of Tokyo shrouded the setting sun. Ryuji and Akira were huddled on his bed, ruining their eyes by staring at the too bright light of Akira’s CRTV as it played an old movie. Ryuji couldn’t focus on anything that was happening on the screen, though. His mind wandered from the several thoughts bouncing around in his head - thoughts that were all centered around Akira. (Though he refused to mention it to anyone, Ryuji was concerned at how present the other boy was in his mind.) The incident at the gym a few weeks ago was left unmentioned by both of them, much to Ryuji’s relief, but Akira now always greeted him with a smirk that made it clear that he could read every thought in Ryuji’s mind. Ryuji didn’t like that look._

_His mind sharpened as he became of his surroundings again. God, Ryuji was spacing out a lot. Whenever he did, he always thought about Akira. He really was going crazy, wasn’t he? Do friends really think about each other that much? (There he goes again…)_

_Ryuji’s mind slammed to a halt when he felt Akira shift next to him. Lately, he seemed to always sit right next to Ryuji, mere inches apart. On the subway, in the Monabus, on his bed. He was close now too. Akira sat up and innocently brushed his hand over Ryuji’s, who flinched at the touch._

_“Ah, sorry,” Akira murmured. His hand was awkwardly placed a little away from Ryuji’s, and a sudden tension filled the air. A tension that seemed to disappear as Ryuji (acting on pure instinct) placed his hand over Akira’s. Slowly, their eyes met, that awful smirk on Akira’s face again. Ryuji quickly looked away, feeling their fingers intertwine and revelling in how warm Akira’s hand was._

_The movie ended not too long after, and Ryuji was concerned at how disappointed he felt when Akira let go of his hand and stood up._

_“You know, Ryuji, it’s pretty late now and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Why don’t you stay the night? Sojiro won’t mind; he says I can’t let girls stay over, but he never said anything about guys.”_

_“Uh yeah, man. Sounds fun.” Ryuji loved sleepovers with his friends. That’s all this was, just a sleepover. So why did his heart speed up and his palms sweat when he thinks about spending the whole night with Akira?_

_“Sweet.” Akira’s smile was too nice to look at. “I’ll lock up downstairs. Be right back.”_

_Akira disappeared down the stairs and Ryuji tried to calm himself. ‘It’s just a sleepover...stop getting so damn worked up about a stupid sleepover…’ To take his mind off it, he quickly sent a text to his mom, saying he wouldn’t be home that night._

_Akira returned and shut off the TV, leaving the two basking in the soft orange light of the streetlamps. Ryuji didn’t understand why his heartbeat suddenly started speeding up again._

_“Wh-where’s Mona?” he asked, trying to seem casual._

_Akira shrugged. “He went off somewhere. He’ll probably be back in the morning.”_

_“Oh, yeah, cool.” A heavy silence fell between them for several moments before Ryuji stood up. “Yeah, so, uh. I’m uh...I’m gonna go change, I guess.” Akira caught his arm and brought him close. Ryuji stared confusedly._

_“A-Akira?” His arm moved up Ryuji’s body and cupped his cheek. Ryuji hoped that he couldn’t feel how hard his heart was hammering in his chest. He couldn’t look away from the intense gaze in Akira’s grey eyes._

_“Y’know, Ryuji,” he began, “I don’t think I’ve ever said this out loud to you, but...I’m not_ just _interested in girls. I’ve crushed on a lot of guys over the years.”_

_“O-Oh, uh yeah, man, that’s cool,” Ryuji stammered. Why was Akira telling him this…? Feeling confused and slightly horny, he couldn’t stop his mouth from going forward. “I’m sure you got plenty of dick too. Y-You’re a nice looking guy ‘n all.”_

_‘WHY,’ he thought, ‘WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT OH GOD OH FU-’_

_Akira chuckled. “Thank you.” He stepped closer. “I’ve had plenty of crushes in my life, but there’s someone really special right now…”_

_‘Damn...I’d kill to be that guy,’ he thought. ‘It’s probably Yusuke, that handsome bastard.’_

_“I’m, uh, sure he’s a lucky dude.” Ryuji hoped that the jealousy stayed out of his voice._

_An unreadable mix of emotion crossed Akira’s eyes and he stepped back, retracting his hand. A smile broke onto his face. “It’s you.”_

_“Uh, what now?” Ryuji felt like he was about to get a speeding ticket for how fast his heart rate was._

_“_ You’re _the special guy, Ryuji. I was talking about you.”_

_His thoughts raced. ‘OH FUCK. OH GOD. WAIT, NOW YUSUKE HAS TO BE JEALOUS OF ME!’_

_“Oh, well yeah! I, uh, I totally knew that.” Trying to play it off cool was the only idea he had. Unfortunately, he again felt like his mouth had a mind of its own. “You’re special too, ‘kira.”_

_A shiver ran down his spine when those intense, grey eyes met his._

_“Oh?” Akira stepped closer._

_Breaking eye contact, Ryuji looked away, painfully aware of how hot his face felt. Hopefully the darkness covered it up. “You’re kinda hot….for a guy ‘n all.”_

_Another laugh. “I could say the same about you.” Akira’s hand went back to resting on Ryuji’s cheek, the two gaining eye contact again. “Hey...can I ask you a question? I’ve been wondering this since the first day we met.”_

_Confused, he responded, “Um, sure?” Seemed to be an odd time to questions, but sure._

_Intensity burned in Akira’s eyes as he seemingly stared right into Ryuji’s soul. “Can I kiss you?”_

_Two different voices rang in Ryuji’s head at once. One screamed, ‘OH HELL YEAH. GO GET IT, BOY!’, while the other said, “Yes, he is amazingly handsome, but he’s a dude???’_

_The former won by a landslide, and Ryuji nodded eagerly._

_Wordlessly, he felt Akira get closer until their lips pressed together in a chaste kiss. A bit late, Ryuji realized he should close his eyes. Akira pulled back after a few moments, but Ryuji pulled him back. The kiss lasted for as long as it could before the two pulled back for air. Moments later, the two tumbled onto the bed, the kiss deepening and Ryuji only had Akira in his mind._

_He had no idea how long the two spent kissing in the dark and his mind felt fuzzy with happiness, though all thoughts about the fact that he was doing this with a guy were promptly ignored. He could feel his mind sharpen when Akira abruptly sat up, breaking the kiss. Just before Ryuji could ask what he was doing, because_ goddamn _was he enjoying himself, Akira placed a hand on the obvious bulge in Ryuji’s pants._

~~~~~

“Ryuji, _stop,_ ” Makoto warned. “No one wants to hear about anything you and Akira do alone.” 

“Bullshit, Queen! I was the one who asked!” Futaba said while grinning mischievously. 

“You did that with the window open?! What if I came back?! You think I wanna see you two getting it on?!” Morgana exclaimed with his back arched and claws out. 

“But damn, he gave you a handjob and that’s it? Lame…What happened next?!” It was concerning how invested Futaba truly seemed to be. 

“Nah, he sucked me off too.” 

“ _Ryuji!_ ” Makoto hissed. 

“Not that I care or anything,” Ann was not as distraught as the rest of them, “but like...you returned the favor, right? It always pisses me off when people don’t do it back.” 

“Obviously! What, you think I’m not gonna help out my buddy?” 

“How beautiful….two star-crossed lovers sharing a night of passion. Ryuji, I am once again asking you to model for my paintings. Perhaps the both of you, naked and embracing. The modern day Achilles and Patroclus…. ” Yusuke whimsically stared off, imagining this classic painting in his head. 

“What? No! Listen guys, that ain’t it. It’s...it’s complicated, alright?!” Ryuji scowled and bounced his leg impatiently. Silence filled the room. 

“W-Wait!” Ann jumped up from her seat on Akira’s bed. “Ewww! Ew ew ew ew! I can’t believe I sat in that! Ugh!” She tried wiping off some invisible substance from her skirt. 

Ryuji violently shook his head. “H-He washed the sheets! I promise!” Futaba grabbed her laptop and jumped off the bed after Ann. She shot Ryuji a dirty look before casually sitting in Haru’s lap, the latter of whom didn’t even react. 

“Big dumb gays, they are,” Futaba said while poking at something on her phone. 

“I’m _not-”_ Ryuji started. 

“A cat!” Morgana finished, the two starting to bicker. 

Still playing on her phone, Futaba interrupted them. "Wait a sec. You said it's _complicated?_ The hell does that mean?"

"Futaba, please don't incite him-" Makoto was promptly cut off as Ryuji turned away from Morgana. 

"It's _complicated_ because...well, y'see...Akira's doing me a favor, y'know?" 

"Not sure I'd call sex with my boyfriend a 'favor', but whatever, I guess," Ann commented. 

"I didn't mean it like that! You didn’t let me finish! Listen, 'Kira and I made this deal…" 

~~~~~

 _"_ _W-woah man! What're you doing??" Ryuji's voice was painfully shrill. Akira's hand quickly retreated from where it was between Ryuji's legs. In the dark attic, it was hard to tell but Akira looked shocked, maybe even a little hurt._

_"I...well uh…."_

_Ryuji stared back at him with a confused, but horny look on his face. “You touched my dick!”_

_Akira sat up and looked away. “I-I’m sorry! I thought you wanted to...have sex. I mean we were making out a second ago and I definitely felt you grinding against my leg, so….” His voice softened. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have assumed.” He continued looking the other way, a complicated look on his face. Ryuji felt an odd mix of feelings swirl inside his head. He definitely had felt_ something _while making out with Akira, but...didn’t that make him gay? And Ryuji knew himself, he was_ not _gay. Sure, most straight guys would never enjoy kissing another dude, but….Ryuji_ was _pretty lonely...Yeah, that must be it, Ryuji was lonely and so he liked the attention that Akira gave him when they made out. (Ryuji had decided to ignore any other feelings he had for Akira as it didn’t fit his narrative, even the ones that he just spoke aloud minutes before.)_

_Ryuji sat up. “Akira,” he whispered._

_He looked over. “I’m sorry, Ryuji. You can leave if you want, I won’t be mad.”_

_“No, I ain’t leavin’,” he put his hand on his shoulder, “...I know this might sound weird or whatever, but I do really like kissing you, bro.”_

_An unreadable look crossed Akira’s face. “But…”_

_“Listen man, this is embarrassin’, but you make me feel less lonely, and yeah, you caught me off guard, but….I wanna do this with you.”_

_A part of Ryuji’s soul came alive when he saw the look of burning passion in Akira’s eyes._

~~~~~

Futaba looked confused. “So….you just wanna….fuck him...without it being gay...how?” 

“‘Kira understands me. I have needs, he has solutions. What’s wrong with that?” Ryuji leaned forward, seemingly pumped up for a reason no one quite knew. 

Futaba looked like she was figuring out that world’s hardest puzzle in her head. “So….you’re friends with benefits….but you’re both dudes, _but_ you’re not gay.” 

Ryuji jumped up. “ _Yes!_ Exactly! Finally, somebody understands!” Silence fell upon the group, as no one wanted to challenge someone who was drowning in De Nile. 

Unfortunately, Akechi stepped forward and cleared his throat. “As fun as it is to talk about Kurusu-kun’s - erm - _personal life,_ perhaps we should go over the strategy for today’s infiltration?” 

“Without Akira? He’s our main tactician, so I’m not sure having this discussion without him would be very productive,” Makoto said. 

Akechi’s eye twitched as he had to put on yet another fake smile. “Yes, but -” he abruptly looked toward the staircase. “Ah, Kurusu-kun! It’s nice to see you back.” Everyone whipped their heads around to Akira, who stood by the stairs with a large shopping bag under his arm. The previous silence of the attic was unsettling. 

Ryuji visibly brightened as he walked over to Akira. “Hey man! Ready to head on out?” 

Akira smiled and nodded. “Yep. We’ll head out in a few.” He leaned over and kissed Ryuji before moving to the table to sort out his items. Ryuji freezed in place. “Sorry I was a little cold to you earlier, Ryuji. I was feeling a little stressed, sorry.” He said while placing another kiss to Ryuji’s lips. 

Futaba made a noise akin to a strangled animal and pointed at the furiously blushing Ryuji. “Yoooo! That was some gay shit!” Akechi’s face twisted into a look that was between disgust and jealousy. His eye twitched for a second. 

Akira chuckled as he pulled out the new model guns he bought. “Some gay shit, indeed. Uh sorry for not telling you all earlier, it’s just...well, it’s been hectic lately.” All eyes drifted to Ryuji. 

“Uhh...tell ‘em what again, Akira?” he asked, trying to hold himself together. 

A look of confusion briefly crossed Akira’s face as he turned to look at Ryuji. “Well...about us being together, of course. I mean, I know it hasn’t been too long since we became official, but I’ve already found it hard to not brag about my amazing boyfriend, y’know?” 

“Ohhhh Ryuji, you’re in some deep shit, man.” Futaba’s comment didn’t help Ryuji’s flood of emotions. 

“Y-You too, man?” he whispered. “The hell is goin’ on? Is everybody against me…?” 

Akira blinked. And then he blinked again. And then his eyebrows furrowed. And then he looked at the others for any semblance of clarity. Per usual, Ann was happy to help. 

“Ryuji says he’s not gay and that despite sleeping together and clearly being in love with you, you’re not dating.” Considering how great Akira’s poker face usually was, it was hard to predict how he would react to certain things. But they all certainly didn’t expect his face to fall into a look of pure hurt and betrayal. 

“Ryuji…?” he breathed. 

(Everyone chose to ignore Akechi’s presence - this entire situation was already a lot, but acknowledging his existence would only make things worse. He seemed to appreciate this, not only did he _not_ want the attention, but he was having enough problems with the sinking feeling in his heart at the information of Akira being taken. (Not that anything between them would ever work, but facts don’t care about your feelings apparently.)) 

“Umm...yeah?” Ryuji responded. 

“You...you said that? You told everyone we’re not dating? That-that you don’t love me anymore?” Everyone stared at the floor in this horribly awkward situation. This was far too personal a conversation for them all to be there (especially a certain someone). 

Ryuji panicked, stepping towards Akira and putting a hand on his shoulder. “N-No! I didn’t say that! ‘Course not, man! It’s just...y’know...we ain’t dating ‘cuz I’m straight, y’know? We talked about that, remember?” 

“Well...at first yeah, you seemed so unsure, but….I mean….Ryuji, we’ve been on dates, we’ve talked, you said you’re always going to be by my side, _you even told your mom -”_

“ _What???_ ” 

“Yeah, when you invited me over…” 

~~~~~

_“Cheers!” three voices rang out as three glasses clinked together. Akira lowered his cup of tea after the toast was done, watching Ryuji chug his glass of soda. Across the table from him, was Ryuji’s mom, who was softly chuckling and shaking her head at her son. Ryuji slammed his glass on the table._

_“Whoo! That was good!” He was bouncing up and down, the caffeine he just swallowed was certainly not helping. Quickly, he jumped up. “Welp, I’m gonna go use the restroom.” He ran over to the hallway where Akira assumed the bathroom was. Ryuji’s mom turned to him._

_“I really do gotta thank ya for making dinner for us tonight, Akira. That was too kind of you,” she said. Akira shook his head._

_“Ah, it was no problem. I do really enjoy cooking, so honestly it was a pleasure to cook for you, Sakamoto-san, especially after everything you do for Ryuji.”_

_Ryuji’s mom chuckled. “No need to be so formal! Just call me Ayaka.” She reached over and lightly punched his arm. “And hey, if anyone’s doing something for Ryuji, it’s you.”_

_Akira felt himself blush as he twirled a strand of hair between his fingers nervously. “Haha, well…” he started._

_Ayaka shook her head and leaned forward, lowering her voice so Ryuji couldn’t overhear from the bathroom. “Y’know, after all that shit with the track team, he tried not to show it, but I could tell how broken he was over it. I started to think I’d never see him really smile again.” A small smile worked itself onto her face. “And then you came along and he got so happy all over again! Honestly, I don’t know what you two are doing that keeps him so busy, but I’m glad that you’re taking care of my boy.” Akira’s blush deepened but his heart swelled as well._

_“Well, uh, thank you. And...I’m really happy with Ryuji, and all I want is to make him happy,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady and not let his emotions soak through. Ayaka smiled and patted him on the shoulder again._

_“I’m just_ so _happy that Ryuji found a great guy like you.” She sighed. “I wish I had a nice guy like you when I was your age. Plus, I’ve always wanted grandbabies!”_

_Akira felt his face burn a bright red as she chuckled. The toilet flushed from the other room, and moments later, Ryuji burst back in. Akira looked up at him, feeling both embarrassment and love._

~~~~~

“Oh my god, that’s _so_ sweet!” Ann squealed. Futaba placed a hand over her heart, obviously revelling in the cute memory as Akira recalled it. Ryuji was sputtering. 

“B-but I...wh-...I...um...I don’t remember that happening,” he managed. Akira’s face twisted into a deep frown. 

“Of course you don’t _remember_ it, you weren’t there! Did you even listen to what I said?”

“‘Course I did! But...y’know, I just don’t know why my ma said that. I mean...I talk about you a lot but...I dunno why she thought we’re...y’know.”

“Ryuji, I-I thought you told her we were together!” Akira asked. 

“ _Hell no, man!_ I told her we were just friends! Wh-why the _fuck_ would I tell her we were dating! I mean, what the fuck man, we were both guys! Although, now that I think about it, she’s never invited any of my other friends for dinner...huh.” 

“Uh yeah, Ryuji,” Ann said, “Your mom would be pretty shitty to not notice that you two are together.” 

Akira scoffed. “Well, _apparently_ we were never together to begin with.” Everyone was surprised to hear so much hurt in his voice. He refused to look at anyone as he blinked back tears as he sorted through the weapons. An awkward silence settled over the room while everyone tried desperately to avoid eye contact with either of them. 

Ryuji felt like someone just tied a weight to his heart as the guilt started taking him over. He reached out to Akira’s shoulder, “Um, uh, ‘kira? I-” 

Akira turned around suddenly, a model katana in hand. There was a fraction of a second where Ryuji thought Akira was going to unsheath it and whack him with it, but instead he thrust his hand past Ryuji, his long bangs covering his eyes. His hand stayed awkwardly thrust out like that for a few seconds. 

“Umm, ‘kira?” Futaba cleared her throat. “If you were trying to sacrifice Ryuji to the Japanese gods, you missed terribly.” 

“I bought you a new sword, Yusuke,” Akira deadpanned. “I promised to get you another one, didn’t I?” Yusuke quickly stood up and took the sword. 

“Ah, yes. You have my thanks, Akira.” He only received a grunt in reply. 

Akira turned back to the table. “We’re heading out in five minutes. Makoto, can you grab the items, please?” He hefted a large axe over to Haru. “There you go.” His voice was painfully even, with no emotions bleeding through. 

“Umm, Akira?” Makoto hadn’t gotten up to get the supplies ready. “Perhaps we should infiltrate another day…?” Makoto had guts to say that to Akira while he held a sword in his hand. He didn’t falter in gathering up the last of the weapons. 

“We’re not infiltrating. We’re going to train in Mementos. Now, if you could grab the items, please? We’re heading out now.” 

“Are you su-” Makoto started. 

“The enemies of Sae’s palace are tough, we’ll need to train to defeat them. Plus, Akechi’s new. We always train the new people.” No one could see his eyes from behind his bangs, but considering his deep frown and tightened jaw, they could guess he was hiding his seething rage and deep sadness. He walked past where Makoto sat, grabbed the bag of items and barely spared a glance to anyone as he walked downstairs, Morgana hot on his heels. Ryuji stood awkwardly near the stairs. He didn’t think it was the best idea to try to talk to Akira right now, especially not with everyone else around. The door slammed downstairs, the jingle clanging loudly. Everyone’s eyes turned on Ryuji. Anger flared up in him. 

“Wh-what are you all looking at?! This ain’t my fault!” 

Ann was the first to stand up. “No one said this is your fault, Ryuji. I guess this was just bad timing?” Everyone else started to get up too. Haru folded her hands over her heart. 

“Oh my...the amount of heartbreak Akira-kun must be in right now...I can’t even imagine. Ah, sorry, Ryuji-kun…” 

“The rest of us will head home right after we’re done in Mementos so that you two can...talk.” Makoto walked awkwardly past him and downstairs. 

“Welp,” Futaba stood up. “This is gonna be one hell of an awkward Mementos visit! Let’s get this shit show started, folks!” 

~~~~~

Everything was fine until Morgana turned into a car. Ann, being the goddess that she was, saved them any awkwardness once they caught up to Akira in the station. She knew better than to try to talk to him, so she jumped head first into a conversation with Futaba about her favorite anime, if only to fill the god awful silence. She got many grateful looks for that. Once Futaba got bored of Ann, she went over to tease Yusuke, and Ann, trying to be nice, struck up a conversation with Akechi about his food blog and that was enough to get everyone to Mementos. 

But then Morgana turned into a car. Ever since Makoto joined the team, she was the unofficial designated driver. Until today, though, when Akira gently pushed past her and got into the driver’s seat. 

“Ah, Joker, aren’t I usually the one to-” Makoto was cut off by Akira turning towards her.

“I’d prefer to drive today, is that a problem, Queen?” His eyes were hidden from behind his mask, but there was definitely an edge to his voice. 

“I...guess I don’t mind a break from driving…” 

Akira said nothing as he got in the car. The sounds of Mementos filled the silence as everyone awkwardly stood there. Morgana the Car spoke up. 

“You guys know there’s no point to training if it’s just Joker and me, right?” 

An awful realization fell upon everyone: Ryuji _always_ sat next to Akira in the car. But he obviously couldn’t now, not even if he wanted to, because Akira might kick his ass out the open door. No one else wanted the discomfort of sitting next to him, either. Everyone already felt bad that Ann had been pulling all the leg work in making things as normal as they could be. Makoto knew Akira wasn’t very happy with her at the moment. Akechi wanted nothing to do with this teenage drama, he just wanted to murder his crush and _go._ Haru tried to hide it, but everyone, including Akira, knew about her (very obvious) crush on him and that was always awkward, especially now. Sighing, Yusuke was about to make his way to the passenger side before Futaba beat him to it and slid in next to Akira. 

“Queen _never_ lets me ride shotgun! Let’s-a-go!” No one knew if she was an amazing actor or was just genuinely excited about this despite the circumstances. Akira allowed a small smile on his face and the tension dissipated enough for everyone else to pile in. 

Apparently Ryuji having to watch his best friend (could he even call him that anymore?) get angry because of _him_ wasn’t enough of a punishment. Oh no, the universe said _“Ryuji made Akira cry! Make the bastard suffer!”_ and shoved him between Yusuke and Akechi in the back of the Mona Bus. Obviously, Ryuji didn’t mind Yusuke. Like, yeah, the dude was weird as hell, but they were friends. But Akechi? Ryuji hated that pretty boy’s guts since the day he came waltzing in talking about pancakes. And now he was squished next to him in a crowded bus. The last time they went to Mementos with Akechi, Akira took the hit for them and sat between Akechi and Ryuji. But now he is stuck and Yusuke didn’t care enough to do anything. Honestly, Ryuji couldn’t blame him. He must seem like a real jackass to the others. But like, how the hell was he supposed to know that Akira thought they were dating? But also....the others seem to think he’s an idiot for not seeing it before. 

The bus sped through the winding walls of Mementos, the chatter in the car being much quieter than usual, most likely because Ryuji had the loudest voice and he was too busy sulking to talk. The car lurched and Ryuji flew into Yusuke’s side. 

“Shit, sorry man,” Ryuji mumbled. 

“It’s no problem,” Yusuke replied. It was hard to tell with the huge mask on his face, but it looked like Yusuke side eyed him. “Is everything alright? With Aki- Joker, I mean,” his voice lowered. 

Ryuji sighed. “I uh, I dunno, man. I honestly didn’t know he felt like that? Didn’t know he was gonna get so upset too.” 

Ann turned around in her seat, her hair whipping Makoto in the face. “Ryuji, wouldn’t you be upset too if your boyfriend thought you two weren’t dating?” 

“I...I guess. But…!” 

Ann raised her eyebrow. “But?” 

“But we’re both _guys!_ And-and I know Joker’s a bi-something-or-whatever but I ain’t!” Anger and confusion flared up in him and he didn’t even notice raising his voice. “I’m straight and Joker’s a dude so I _don’t_ like him like that!” 

Ann frowned deeply. “Ryuji, stop it! Your stupid denial is hurting Akira’s feelings! He can _hear_ you-!”

The car suddenly sped up to a dangerous speed, enough to make Morgana meow in alarm, and rammed directly into a tough looking shadow for their first fight of the day. Without a single word, Akira leaped out of the car and flung himself towards the shadow, his dagger already slicing through its body. Everyone else hurried out, but were reluctant to form ranks around him as he wildly pelted the shadow with bullets. Ryuji felt his muscle memory take over as he ran up to take his normal spot in the front lineup, Ann and Akechi hot on his heels. When he got there though, he was met with an icy glare from Akira that just barely contained his burning fury. Ryuji stopped in his tracks when he was met with that gaze, and Akira took that opportunity to roughly grip his shoulder and push him away. 

“Sorry Skull, but I need Fox in the front line up.” The tone of his voice left no room for argument as Ryuji awkwardly made his way to the others, Yusuke acting relatively normal as he joined the front. Ryuji refused to look any of them in the eye as he joined them, feeling confused and frustrated, but most of all he felt angry. Why did Akira act like this was all his fault? How the hell was he supposed to know how he felt? And besides, the fuck did Akira expect? He knew Ryuji was straight, why would he delude himself so deeply to think they were anything more than friends? And yeah, they fucked a few times and whenever they were alone together they would make out for hours at a time and Ryuji _always_ had a massive boner whenever they did, but so fucking what? Can a man not fuck his buddy without it being gay? 

_Obviously not, dumbass,_ said a voice in the back of Ryuji’s head. 

_Shut the fuck up!_ He told it. 

No no no, this was _not_ Ryuji’s fault. How could it be? Was he not allowed to be straight? _Bitch, you know that’s not the problem,_ it said again 

_…_ okay, maybe. Maybe...maybe what Ryuji said was hurtful. And maybe, _just maybe_ , he was being a little ridiculous by denying his attraction to Akira. 

He awkwardly stood in the corner as the battle continued in front of him, Futaba and Makoto were helping with fighting and the rest decided to give Ryuji his space. The battle didn’t last long considering the insanity that Akira was unleashing on it. If he kept up with this, he would get burned out before they could make any real progress. Morgana turned back into a car and Akira adjusted his gloves while making his way over. Makoto gingerly approached him. 

“Joker,” she started. He ignored her and went to step into the car. She grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around. A harsh glare was sent her way. 

“Queen -” 

“Joker, I know you’re having a rough time right now, but I think you need to calm down.” 

“I do not need to _calm down -”_

“ _Yes_ , you do. You are acting reckless and I think that either you back down and let me lead for a while so you can collect yourself or we pull out for today. It’s your choice and I don’t care what you choose, but I cannot just stand back and watch you get yourself killed over your own petty emotions!” She stood up straight and stared right into his anger filled eyes. After a few seconds of brutal eye contact, he looked away. 

Akechi chimed in, despite knowing that no one gave a fuck about what he thought. “Niijima-san is correct. Acting rash will only ever lead to your fail-”

“ _Fine_ . I’ll back down for now, but I’m only taking a small break, that’s _it._ And I’m doing this because I want to.” Akira shot a quick death glare toward Akechi before looking back at Makoto with far less venom in his eyes. Makoto nodded. 

“Alright, then. I would like to drive, in that case.” Akira stepped away and let her take the driver’s seat. The rest of the gang piled in, Akira taking shotgun and Ryuji finding himself in the back, but between Ann and Haru this time. Futaba was taking advantage of being next to Akechi by torturing him with her plethora of knowledge about Anime™, especially since he was still reeling from the murderous look Akira gave him earlier. The car started moving again, and Ryuji sighed. God, today sucked ass. He had no idea how the hell he was going to talk to Akira after this. He had a feeling that a “sorry bro” wasn’t going to cut it. Haru nudged his side. 

“I’m sorry about this whole thing, Ryuji-kun. I didn’t mean to start a conflict between you two.” She seemed truly remorseful. 

Ryuji shook his head. “Nah, it ain’t your fault.” 

Ann nodded. “Yeah, it’s not your fault, Haru. This was going to happen regardless as long as Ryuji is still in denial.” 

“Ann, the hell am I gonna do? He seems _really_ upset.” Ryuji looked across the car to Akira, who seemed to be talking to Makoto, but the car was far too loud for him to make out what they were saying. 

“You’re just going to have to talk to him. I’m surprised this hasn’t come up sooner….and did you _honestly_ not think you two were dating? Like, really? You can’t tell me that you could never see that.” 

Ryuji sighed. “Well….I….guess it was just easier to not think about it.” 

Ann lowered her voice and leaned in. “How do you honestly feel about Akira?”

“Well I’m confused on why he’s so mad-”

“No Ryuji, I meant like, him as a person.” 

“Oh….I think he’s amazin’ and he’s my best friend, I’d do anything for him,” Ryuji tried to keep his voice low, which was hard for him. 

Haru leaned forward. “But do you like _like_ him?” Her smile was far too eager. 

Ryuji sighed. “....I….I’m not gay.” 

Ann shook her head. “No, don’t think about that. Just think about how you feel about _him._ Not as a _guy,_ but as a person.” Ryuji looked away, deep in thought. 

The rest of the trip to Mementos was considerably less awkward, Ryuji knew his place and stayed in the back during all battles and in the car, trying to let Akira have his space. Surprisingly, Akira let Makoto take the reins and lead everyone for the whole trip. Everyone got fairly good amounts of training before Makoto made the call to go back. As they reached the entrance, Akira, who had been quiet after the argument proceeding that first battle, spoke up. 

“Hey guys?” Everyone turned to him, surprised. “I need to apologize for how I was acting earlier. I’m the leader, so I shouldn’t ever allow my feelings to cloud my judgement so much. I’m really sorry. And I need to thank Makoto for pulling my head out of my ass.” 

Makoto nodded. “Someone has to do it, afterall. It was no problem.” 

Ann stepped forward and pulled him into a quick hug. “It’s okay, we forgive you, Leader!” 

“Yeah, well,” Futaba joined the hug just because she could, “sometimes your emotion meter just gets too high and you gotta do something to get it down. ‘S all good, my dude.” 

Makoto pulled out her phone and, with a quick warning to everyone, hit the Meta Nav. 

~~~~~

The moment they returned to reality, Ryuji turned toward Akira, knowing that they needed to talk. Before he even got the chance to open his mouth though, Akira was already walking away towards his station without even saying goodbye to the others. A hand appeared on Ryuji’s shoulder. Makoto gave him a sympathetic look. 

“I’m sorry, Ryuji. Akira and I talked in the car and….he’s not well. Perhaps you should give him some time.” 

Yusuke joined in on the pitying Ryuji party. “Precisely. His actions and lack of coherence during battle was a strong indicator of his emotional distress.” 

“Wow. Inari sure does know how to console a person, just state the obvious in a pretentious way,” Futaba grumbled. 

“Futaba, do I detect sarcasm in your tone?” he retorted. 

“ _Guys!_ ” Ryuji’s yelp caught everyone’s attention, including the nearby security guards. “I know you’re tryin’ to help, but I can’t just leave him alone! He’s super fucking pissed, I gotta tell him how I feel!”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea-” Makoto was interrupted by Ann forcefully taking Ryuji’s shoulder and turning him towards Akira’s station. 

“Just talk to the dude, dammit!” She pushed him and made a _shoo_ motion with her hands. Ignoring the others’ plea for him to leave the man alone, he ran after Akira. 

~~~~~

Although Akira was nowhere to be seen at the station or on the train, Ryuji followed the usual path, hoping that he would run into him on the way back to LeBlanc. Relief washed over him when he spotted a familiar head of messy hair walking in front of him on the backstreets of Yongen-Jaya. 

“‘Kira!” Ryuji called out. For half a second, Akira stopped, before continuing on, hoping that Ryuji wouldn’t notice. 

‘ _Oh, that son of a bitch!’_ He thought while jogging to catch up with him. Akira must’ve heard him because he started power walking towards the cafe. Ryuji decided to ignore the obvious fatigue he felt after a Mementos trip and sped up into a full run. Akira did the only thing a man can do: sprint around the corner as fast as he could. Once Ryuji rounded the corner himself, Akira was nowhere to be seen. 

“Motherfucker…” he grumbled. 

“I’m pretty sure he’s just making a detour before going back to LeBlanc.” Ryuji nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the other’s voice, breathing a sigh of relief once he saw a familiar pair of blue eyes looking up at him. 

“Damn Mona, don’t scare me like that!” 

“Oho, so you’re scared of a measly little house cat, huh? How manly- Wait! I’m not a cat!” 

“What’re you even doing here? Don’t you usually just hang out in his bag?” Ryuji was irritated at how wrong it felt to say Akira’s name now. 

Morgana frowned (his face was surprisingly expressive for a “cat”). “I’d just get jostled and nauseous if I stayed with him running around like a maniac, so I jumped out. But anyway, aren’t you going after him?”

“Yeah….wait, why are you even helpin’ me?” 

Morgana huffed. “Did you see his performance today? We need our leader back in tip-top shape, ASAP! A great thief must ignore the emptiness of his heart during a great heist, afterall….” His ears went flat against his head and he stared at his paws. “....also, I owe Akira my life and he means a lot to me. I hate to see him so upset. And you two make each other happy, so I want you to be happy.” 

Ryuji looked back at him in a stunned silence. 

Morgana arched his back and bared his little fangs. “Him being our leader is way more important though! That lover’s quarrel of yours is far from a priority, you know!” 

Ryuji grinned. “Ohhh, sure it is…” 

“Ugh! He’s probably snuck back to LeBlanc by now, just go find him and tell him how you feel, or whatever.” 

“M’kay. And, uh, thanks Mona, seriously.” 

Morgana scoffed and jumped on a nearby fence. “Whatever you love birds need, I guess.”

~~~~~

LeBlanc’s glass door reflected the beautiful oranges and pinks of the sunset, making it look like one of those watercolor paintings Yusuke adored. Ryuji’s scowling face was reflected upon the surface as well; the sight of the setting sun reminding him of that day he spent cuddled in Akira’s arms….their first kiss, their first everything. Ryuji’s bright hair blended into the colors of the sky, leaving him to only stare at himself. Pushing his negative feelings of apprehension and guilt down, he pushed open the door, the jingle above announcing his arrival. 

Sojiro looked up for just a second before gesturing towards the stairs. “The kid’s upstairs if you’re here to see him. I’m heading out now, so just stay out of trouble, okay?” Ryuji figured Akira must not have said anything for Sojiro to treat him so normally. 

“Uh, thanks, Boss,” he stammered out. Sojiro simply nodded before walking past Ryuji and out the door. Cautiously, he made his way to the base of the stairs. The light was on in the attic, but it was completely silent. That damn staircase was so old and creaky that it was impossible to go up without making a noise. Once making his way up, he saw Akira sitting on his bed, staring right at him with a soft frown tugging at his lips. His long hair had been pushed back and his glasses taken off, making his red, puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks all the more visible. 

“Akira…” Ryuji breathed. He had _never_ seen Akira look so bad, not even after everything they’d been through together. He got the urge to run over and hug him, but he might get his ass kicked through the window if he tried. 

“I don’t want to do this right now, Ryuji.” Akira’s voice was barely above a whisper, as if he was afraid that his voice would crack if he spoke any louder. 

“Is that why you ran away from me?” Ryuji tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but was failing miserably. Akira didn’t reply, he merely looked away. 

Ryuji shook his head while walking closer. “Man….I understand why you’re upset but….aren’t you a bit _too_ upset?” 

Akira’s head snapped towards him. “I’m not supposed to be upset when you tell all of our friends that we aren’t dating? That you don’t love me? How am I not supposed to be upset?” 

“That ain’t what I said!” 

Akira stood up, looking right at Ryuji with his bloodshot eyes. “Yes, you did! And in front of everyone, too! Just…” 

“I’m sorry, okay?! I just...I just thought that maybe you’d be more understanding with this whole thing! I’m still figuring my shit out and hell, I didn’t even know I liked to suck dick before you came along! That ain’t something that’s super easy to just...accept, y’know?!” 

Akira laughed humorlessly. “That’s _not_ what I’m upset about, Ryuji! I don’t care how long it takes you to figure it all out, I _don’t care-_ ” 

Ryuji stepped forward, cutting him off. “Clearly you do! Just ‘cuz you’ve been fuckin’ guys since middle school or whatever doesn’t mean that everyone has!” 

A betrayed look fell upon Akira’s face. “Ryuji, that’s-” 

“And god! Stop pinning all this on me! You ‘n everyone else keep actin’ like all this is my fault, but it ain’t! I mean, hell, I’m not the one who went acting like a maniac in Mementos, in front of _Akechi_ of all people.” 

Akira had his face cradled in his hand, clearly trying to rein in all of his anger. When he finally spoke after a minute silence, it was through gritted teeth. “I know I acted like an idiot in Mementos today, I’m sorry. But I’m _not_ upset because you’re still figuring everything out-” 

“ _Yes,_ you _are-”_

Akira finally looked back at him, his voice cracking. “I’m _upset_ because I _thought_ you cared about me!”

Ryuji stared back at him with wide eyes, taken aback. “Well, ‘kira, that’s-”

“I’m _sorry_ if I’ve been acting like a dick and acting irrationally, especially when you kept saying you weren’t gay. I don’t actually care how you identify, or fucking whatever, just hearing that….hurt, okay? And _I don’t care_ about that shit, I only care because I thought you loved me…” Brand new tears streamed down his already tear streaked face. 

Ryuji felt tears prick at the back of his eyes as he stepped forward and gently held Akira’s hand. “Akira...of course I love you. You-you mean everything to me. You saved me, how could I not love you?” 

“But you said-”

“I was confused, I didn’t mean what I said, I promise. And that stuff I said right now….I didn’t mean that either, I’m sorry. But….it doesn’t matter what I call myself, I’ll _always_ love you.” 

“Ryuji…” Akira sniffled. The two collapsed into a bone-crushing hug, now both of them crying. 

“I’m sorry, Ryuji...I never should’ve assumed that we were dating. God, why was I so stupid? I should’ve just talked to you…” 

“Yeah….I’m sorry, too. You know I’d never want to hurt you, ‘kira.” 

Akira laughed. “Except for you slut-shaming me for a second there.” 

Ryuji winced. “Uh yeah….that was uncalled for...sorry.” 

“‘s all right, I forgive you. Do you forgive me for being a dick?”

“‘Course, man.”

The two separated and looked at each other through blurry vision, smiles on their faces. 

Akira cleared his throat, his voice strained from crying so goddamn much. “So Ryuji, this is something I should’ve asked you a long ass time ago but-” Being the extra as fuck bitch that he was, Akira got down on one knee. “I love you and you are the light of my world. Will you be my boyfriend?” 

Ryuji hated how much blood rushed to his face, but nevertheless grinned and said, “Yes.” Akira got up and the two embraced again, silly grins on both of their faces. After a second, Ryuji pulled back and happily crashed his lips against Akira’s. 

~~~~~

**_Meanwhile…._ **

After ditching Akechi at Shibuya Station, the rest of the team booked it back to Futaba’s after she suggested that they would be able to eavesdrop on Akira and Ryuji’s conversation if she made it back to her laptop in time. She (accurately) guessed that they would talk in Akira’s room, which she apparently had bugged. 

“Futaba, do you often listen in to Akira’s room? Because if so, that’s very illegal and very...inappropriate,” Makoto asked. 

“If Ryuji’s tale is accurate, you would have beared witness to many sensual nights between those two.” Yusuke was that one brave member of society that had the audacity to say the unspoken thing that was obvious. 

“Gross, Inari! I’ve rarely ever listened to the attic, and especially not after he moved in! Now, do you dweebs want to eavesdrop or what?” 

Makoto frowned. “Absolutely not, that is highly inappropriate-” 

“Oh! I can call a private car that will take us straight to Futaba-chan’s house! That way we can get there quickly!” Haru interrupted, already taking out her phone and dialing a number. 

Although she was vehemently against it, Makoto soon found herself in the backseat of Haru’s private car, driving towards Yongen-Jaya. 

~~~~~

The love confessions were great to hear, except none of them could hear any longer due to Ann’s high pitched squeals. It was so bad that at one point Sojiro poked his head into Futaba’s room to see what the hell the noise was about. (Everyone was too cowardly to mention the argument they just overhead and chose to focus on the cute stuff.) 

Everyone had cheered after hearing Ryuji’s “yes”, but there was a bout of silence afterwards that led everyone to assuming they were hugging. 

Ann sniffled. “I’m so happy they worked it out...they’re just too cute as a couple.” 

“Ryuji-kun is right, though,” Haru said. “We were wrong to pin the blame solely on him…”

“Indeed, that was quite near-sighted of us. We should apologize to Ryuji later,” Yusuke mused, suddenly deep in a sketch of Akira’s furious face back in Mementos. It was decided to not talk about that. 

“Hehe! Looks like those two lovebirds figured it out. Now we can focus on Akechi and all his murder plots and stuff!” 

“Futaba, please don’t sound so excited about that,” Makoto said. 

“Not at all, Queen! I’d much rather deal with a lover’s quarrel than our homicidal Crow,” Futaba retorted. “Although...did anyone notice how jealous Akechi looked when Akira kissed Ryuji? Don’t tell me murder boy has a crush...but then he has to murder his crush! Oh boy, that’d make a great plot for a gay detective story, don’t’cha think?”

Makoto shook her head seriously. “We aren’t going to let him murder Akira!” 

“Umm, Futaba-chan?” Haru gazed worriedly at the laptop. “What are those noises?” Everything went dead silent, the only noises being from the transmission of the attic. The main noises were the bed creaking loudly accompanied by gasps and grunts. Horror fell upon everyone’s faces as the realization dawned on them. 

“OH GOD FUTABA SHUT IT OFF!!!” Ann yelled, covering her ears as a particularly loud moan came from the speakers. 

“Jesus fucking Christ I’m trying!” Futaba’s fingers nervously flew across her keyboard. In her haste to shut off the program, though, she accidentally turned up the volume. 

**_“Oh Akira!”_ **

“MY VIRGIN EARS!” cried Haru. 

“Futaba, perhaps you should turn it off to preserve their privacy,” Yusuke calmly said, continuing his sketch without even looking up. 

“FUCK YOU INARI I’M TRYING!” 

**_“Ryuji...I’m gonna eat your ass like a chain chomp.”_ **

“What did we do to deserve this…?” Ann pondered. 

Futaba laughed nervously. “Get you a man that references Mario during sex.” 

**_“Mmh...fuck yeah, do it, ‘kira.”_ **

“Futaba, I’m begging you!” Makoto pleaded. 

In a desperate attempt to discard the sin she was running from, Futaba forcefully held down the power button of her laptop until it shut off completely. An awful silence befell the room as the evil had been defeated. After a whole minute of no one daring to speak, Yusuke decided that peace was never an option by choosing to speak. 

“Akira certainly exudes the energy of a sexual deity, Ryuji is a lucky man. Perhaps I should ask Akira to model for me, I have never attempted to capture sensuality onto the canvas.” 

“Inari, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m going to kill you.” 

“If _any_ of you speak of this to anyone,” Makoto said, “I will kick your ass across Tokyo Bay. We are taking this to the grave and none of you have a choice.” 

Futaba gasped. “Language, young lady!”

~~~~~

The harsh neon lights of the casino seemed to intensify as Futaba called out in surprise, relaying the information of a massive wave of Shadows honing in on the area. Sae’s Shadow had already been defeated and the treasure taken, but yet they were still being ambushed by enemies? 

While the news sparked anxiety in everyone, it came as a small relief to Akira. Everything was happening as planned, now all he had to do was survive the interrogation room and make it home safely. The next two days were going to be absolute hell, but as soon as it was over, it could return to his family, to _Ryuji,_ and then everyone would be safe. 

Thoughts raced through Akira’s head, all the ways this could go wrong, the possibility of one of them (mainly Ryuji) becoming worried and doing something reckless, the fact that they might not make it out at all, but he tried to push them all out of his head, focusing instead on Ryuji fidgeting as they all had to play their parts as to deceive Akechi. 

Akira’s thoughts ground to a halt when Ryuji turned to him. 

“I know you ain’t gonna die, this is you we’re talking about….but be careful, alright?” Ryuji handed the briefcase over before bringing him into a tight hug, taking the chance to whisper “I love you” into his ear. Keeping his voice low, Akira whispered, “I love you too” back. After a few seconds, the two boys reluctantly pulled apart. A few words were exchanged with the rest of the thieves before it was time to go (except for Akechi, of course. Futaba filled him in on the “hot gossip” of Akechi supposedly having a crush on him. Between that, the upcoming murder, and the anticipatory look in his eyes, Akira struggled to look at him). 

Akira took one last glance at Ryuji before turning away towards the casino and his heart pained at the concerned and scared look on his face. If he could hope for one thing, he hoped that Ryuji didn’t feel any guilt about how they spent the last few months and especially everything that had happened in the past week. Akira knew he would be coming back, he would make sure of it, but Ryuji had no way of knowing. All he could do was survive until he could be back safely in Ryuji’s arms, telling him that he loved him. 

**Author's Note:**

> My brother came up with the chain chomp joke and he's very proud of himself. And thanks to him for helping me edit this!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
